Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would
rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty
easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first
introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the
embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the
excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and
writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things.

For example when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of
the crowd begins, it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddy
Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd,
which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you,
any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think
of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having
100% fun.

Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out
on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,
God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and
we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of those
narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive.
I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a
child.

On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people
I've known personally and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the
frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of
us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel
too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man!
Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who
reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every
person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that
terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the
thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker
that I've become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've
become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy
for people to get along and have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry
for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters
and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody, baby!
I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out
than to fade away.

Peace, Love, Empathy.
Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.

I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!